Yesterday was total fun. A kick ass booz.. oops bowling at a
brand new bowling alley in Orion. No doubt it was a fun filled evening. But being
the mango fellow, I also experienced the other side of the shopping mall which
is quite ludicrous. This post is all about the darker side that you as a non
shopping fanatic may experience in a shopping mall.
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| Traffic jam outside Mantri mall, a usual scene |
All the enthusiasm was killed even before we entered the
mall because there was a huge traffic pile up like 100 mtr even before the
entrance. You may get an urge to pick up a facial tissue kept on the dashboard
and thrust it into security’s whistling mouth, but we can’t blame him. Poor
chap! He is just doing his job. After so much of time, I reached the parking
gate only to read “Parking full” sign. I cursed the entire window shopping rebels
inside and went to basement 2 and finally got a place to park the car. Walked a
mile to find the elevator and talked about how big the mall is.
As I stepped into the mall, two men appeared out of nowhere
and gave me a weird look. For a second, I was confused if I committed a heinous
crime. Then they ran their hands through my top to bottom and let me in. In front of the very first store, one of the
man’s hands directed at me, gestured that he’s taking a snap with his dad and
mom and asked me to walk away. The expression on his face said “Can’t you see
that I’m taking a picture with mom and dad. Get lost”. I started walking
briskly in the same direction just to piss him off. I can bet anything on my
life: That pic was taken just to put it on facebook. I, JJ and Anil exchanged
looks and started contemplating on that pictures future:
41 likes and 27 comments:
- Hey nice! (I know you dumb ass)
- This is Orion Mall.. Correct? (I’m not so vile like you to take my parents to Banshankari BDA Complex)
- Your parents? (No.. I’m doing a CSR event for an NGO and they are some unknown beggars)
- Hey you look a lot like your dad! (Saale, mera baap hai. Voldemort thodi hai)
- Awwwww..!!!! ( by a gal)
- Uncle, you look nice in that yellow tees (Bencho, 1400 bucks I’ve paid)
I felt like IT industries, all malls should ban taking
photographs inside the building. This clicking photo interruption happened some
27 times before Navya, Neha and Sam stepped inside ESPRIT shop that had FLAT
50% to 70% discount. I caught view of the obese aunties inside and wondered if
they really get anything of their sizes here or they have any magical
properties to reduce their bosoms. As usual, neither Sam nor Navya/Neha bought
anything. And we collectively decided not to step into any other shop and
headed for bowling.
I tell you, if you are looking for some serious stage
performance and theatre talents, then the shoe kiosk in the bowling alley is
the place for you to hunt. People act and put so much of scene to wear those
shoes, ufff! Even a person with OCD for cleanliness wouldn’t do so much.
And at one side of the mall, there’ll always be some brand
awareness campaigns going on. This was a shaving razor brand and guys were
standing in queue, only to check out the good looking chick doing announcements.
Blimey!
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| Window shopping inside Orion |
And all the Aam Aadmi like me associating the unknown brand
names in their own way like Zara – and recalling “Zara Zara touch me touch me”
song and giggling passively or Café NOIR – Assuming it is by some Malayali NAIR.
Visiting almost all the shops and outlets in there with absolutely no intention
of buying anything! If at all, we pay visit to the food court, we end up eating
golgappas by paying 50 bucks a plate and silently cry (Yaar bahar paanch plate
kha sakte the:( The great Indian rudiment goes on and on.
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| Houseful KFC |
Needless to say, the McD and the KFC in any mall will always
be houseful and poor husbands thronging in the queue with their kids cuffed on
both hands, struggling to even open their wallets, while their wives are busy
talking to their friends on how expensive these malls are and how they managed
to buy a pair of tees in Westside. Bechara husbands yaar! I pity them
In the end, the same traffic pile up to get out of the mall;
forget all the good(?) times we had inside and cursing the mall for exorbitant
parking fees and finally eat happily in a roadside chat stall and call it our
day!
For some who do this every week, we shall call this affair as
“Mall-o-mall Weekly”
Image courtesy:thenewindianexpress.com, siliconindia.com and pardaphash.com
